Project of the week

The home improvement projects this week are:

1. Painting the “master” bedroom walls and ceiling (it has an odd little dressing room attatched, but no bathroom)
2. Removing all the grass from my yard

Project one is going well. We removed the ugly this-must-come-down-before-I-sleep-in-this-room drop-ceiling throughout the week. Friday evening saw the final removal of the drop-ceiling and the discovery of some red velvet bordello wall paper (no lie). I didn’t see the pattern on it at first, but then I brought it downstairs to show Kevin who was lighting up the grill in the backyard.

The conversation went like this:

Me: Look what I found. Red velvet wallpaper!
Kevin: Those are titties!
Me: What?
Kevin: Look, titties.
Me: Where? (looking down) These?
Kevin: No, on that (pointing to the strip of wallpaper). Those are titties! And nipples!
Me: Oh my god! They are, aren’t they.

From then on, I could see nothing but the boobs on the wall paper and ran back upstairs to see if any of the other 2″ strips showed anything more. Alas, they were all the same part of the pattern. And for some reason, I feel compelled to tell everyone about it. I’ll scan them in once I get my scanner hooked up at home.

The rest of the job has been much less exciting. Spackling the cracks in the plaster ceiling. Taking down the light fixture and finding bare wires in the ceiling (Kevin did that bit. I’m not allowed to play with electricity after the Christmas Light Incident). Painting 2 coats of flat, white ceiling paint and covering myself with it in the process. Speckled. Like an egg. And then, the final touch — ceiling glitter. I did that last part in the growing dusk, missing the first 15 minutes of the Simpson’s season finale, so I couldn’t really tell what I was doing (Kevin took the light down, remember?).

It looked pretty decent this morning, but I didn’t want to pad around the room too much because the floor is still covered in glitter.

Sometime this week I’ll get around to painting the walls. What colour did I eventually choose again? (Note to self: do not frequent paint department at Home Depot when your friend is working there. It takes 4 times as long because 1. you keep talking about other things than what colour paint to choose, and 2. your friend forgets he’s supposed to be serving you and keeps helping other customers, just walking away in the middle of a sentence and coming back several minutes later.) Some kind of green. Restful, I believe the colour was called. It is going in the bedroom, after all.

So, onto Project #2: Removing The Grass From the Garden/Yard.
Why am I doing this? That’s what the neighbours are no doubt wandering.
Let’s just say that it’s going OK, but I can’t quite decide which part of my body is most sore. The backs of my thighs might win that competition, though.