Maybe we should stop going to the doctor

It seems like every doctor’s visit brings more bad news.

Today we learned that Mum’s bilirubin level is 3.5. About 10 days ago it was 1.8. Over 4.0 means liver failure. Things don’t look good. At this point, her oncologist estimates she has 2 to 4 weeks left to live.

I took her home from the appointment and a parade of hospice folks arrived: someone delivering oxygen and a wheelchair, a chaplain and a social worker. Their almost simultaneous arrival was unplanned.

Thanks to all of them, Mum now has oxygen at home and portable oxygen, a wheelchair in case we want to take her places, a lifeline alert system in the process of being set up, a volunteer to come over and record her thoughts and stories and a bedside commode on its way.

Christopher arrives from France tonight and will stay for 2 weeks.

I can’t imagine how Mum feels, having her time on Earth cut so short. I’m reeling, myself.

I’m not sure what we need at this point. Other than WiFi at her house so I can work from there in the afternoons. 😉 I want to spend as much time as I can with her, as heartbreaking as it is to see her body cease to function. I go between realizing that we’ll have to say goodbye soon to believing that she’ll somehow fight the cancer back and become a world-traveling evangelist for alternative cancer cures.

Keep sending those good thoughts. We need them.

One thought on “Maybe we should stop going to the doctor

  1. I’m so sorry for you, Silandara. This sounds so much like my mom. From the time she was diagnosed until she passed was just 9 weeks. She had small cell lung cancer that had already spread to her liver by the time she was diagnosed. She had quit smoking 30 years prior and other than some weight loss, there were no alarming symptoms that would have merited a doctor’s visit any earlier.

    The hospice people are a godsend. We were able to make her comfortable and grant her last 4 wishes, thanks in large part to their support at home. They were there for every question, no matter the time of night, and I believe my mother’s passing was as peaceful and pain-free as any passing can be. My sister and I pulled together to make it happen and good support is definitely a big plus – and really, a necessity.

    God bless you all.

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