Slowly, slowly, I’m hand-importing my really old blog posts from 2002-2005. For some reason, when I last switched blogs (from blogger to WordPress for anyone who’s keeping track), I decided to let go of my pre-family life. Not sure why, now.
As I copy and paste each post, I’m reminded of how some things have changed so much and others, well, they’re pretty much the same.
Take this post, the fearful blogger, in which I recognize that there are words I want to write but am too afraid to. Out of fear of who will read it and what they’ll then say.
Blogging truthfully has come to bite me in the arse. Shortly after I posted about spending the first 2 months back at work after having Duncan feeling like I’d been staring out the window in a sleep-deprived haze, my boss came into my office for a chat. He wanted to make sure I really wanted to be there.
As it turned out, I didn’t. So I guess it prompted a helpful, if difficult, conversation after all. And I left my job, opened my own business and happily worked for myself for 3 1/2 years.
Today, I stand in a spot (metaphorically) where I know I have to speak my truth. Whatever that is. I need to express who I am. My God spark has stuff to say. (I’m so incredibly eloquent, I know.)
So what has changed in that decade? Marriage, solo music stint, 2 kids, own business, moving across the country, getting a “real” job again, divorce, 2 bonus kids, promotion, loss of my mum, remarriage, back surgery, and a million other things I’m forgetting.
All those things have taught me that my truth won’t really bit me in the arse. It might feel like it at the time, but it only propels me forward into wherever I need to be going.
So enough talking about talking. What’s the plan? Here’s my plan. At least once a week, I’m going to write my truth about something. What? I don’t know. Whatever I’ve been musing about in the minute empty spaces in my life (and when I’m not being continually interrupted my delightful small children).
And maybe I’ll write about craft projects, too. 🙂