First, admit one thing you feel awful about involving being a Mom. Get it off your shoulders. Once you’ve written it down, you are No Longer allowed to feel bad. It’s over with, it’s in the past. Remember, you’re a good Mom!
Just one thing? I often feel bad that I get as impatient and irritable as I do with the kids. But sometimes the incessant motion, talking/whining/begging/yelling and not-listening gets to me. Fielding multiple requests at once, usually while I’m in the middle of doing something else that I can’t put down and stop (like cooking), becomes overwhelming. And I lose my patience.
I remember my own Mum becoming irritable and impatient with me as a child (I also remember being a big whiner 🙁 ) and, well, I understand where she was coming from now. She, also, had a chronic illness to battle which doesn’t help energy or patience levels.
Then there was the time I locked the kids in the car outside of the health food store and had to call the fire department to jimmy open the door…all the while yelling through the window at the one not to hit the other one…hahahahaha….oh, good times.
Then, remind yourself you are a good Mom, list seven things you love about your kids, you love doing with your kids, or that your kids love about you. These are the things to remind yourself everyday that you rock!
1. I love watching my kids when they’re absorbed in something (OK, this is often a TV show). They’re still, concentrating. I love looking at their profiles and seeing how similar they are in many ways, yet different at the same time.
2. My favorite time of day is just before I go to bed. I peek in on the kiddos, making sure they’re tucked in under the covers, favorite loveys cuddled up with them. I take a moment to kiss them and snuggle them a little bit, without disturbing them. They look and smell so delicious I want to get in bed with them for a while. But I leave and go to my room and pray they won’t wake me up during the night, instead.
3. I confess that I don’t love taking them to the playground. It’s a selfish reason — I just stand there and don’t get to move around much myself. But I do love going for walks with them and being outdoors. And I look forward to doing more and more of that as they get older.
4. I love gardening with them. Last year, Duncan helped me plant peas and beans and it brought me such joy — showing him how to put the seeds in the holes, then pat down the soil. They both love helping to water the garden with rainwater we collect from the garage roof. And, telling them we’re eating vegetables they helped to grow gives them more incentive to eat them.
5. My kids love my cuddles. Now that they’re both weaned (finally!), they come and cuddle with me in bed in the mornings. I’m not sure that Kevin likes it, but it gives me some extra lying-down time and, well, I love their cuddles, too.
6. I am constantly amazed at how much they’re learning. Duncan told me yesterday that 2 + 3 is 5 and our snuggle time this morning consisted of doing math with my fingers. He’s 3. How does he know this already?
7. I love time out. I’m grateful for an effective discipline strategy that works for both me and them. I guess that’s not something I love about my kids or that they love about me. But it’s much better than yelling or hitting. And I do love that they sit there for their alloted time, then apologize and give hugs. And then we get on with things.
Parents are often hard on themselves. While sometimes we take the guilt too far, I think it’s also a good thing. There’s a lot of expectation that we place on ourselves — from our own upbringing, how we imagined our parents to be, what we think the ideal parent is and what we think society expects from us. I’m always striving to be a better parent — mostly to parent with awareness, being conscious of the decisions I make and what kind of mother I choose to be.
So, now to pass this award on to 5 4 other Mom’s who also blog:
Anna at Moments on the Silver’s Screen
Shelley at Never Dull With Kids
Liz at Mom-101
Bethany at Mommy Writer