Not exactly. It’s not bad either, I guess. It’s just the adjustment from being a mum on maternity leave to being a working mother.
It hasn’t been easy. I guess it’s getting a bit better.
I can tell you that it feels pretty normal to be in my office at work. On the surface everything seems the same. It’s just underneath that it’s all completely changed.
Before I sat in meetings mostly bored out of my skull. Now I sit in a 2 o’clock meeting praying for it to end soon so that I can rush into my office and return the phone call from the sitter (not an emergency. phew) and hook up my aching right breast to the milking machine until it stops complaining.
Before, I’d leave whenever I was done for the day, often procrastinating for a bit until it was well after 5 p.m. Now…well, now I have to pick up my baby and give him all the cuddles I wasn’t able to get in during the day.
Before, I remembered what day of the month it was and what times my meetings were. Now I have no clue. I wrote a press release last week with a release date on it that was after the event I was promoting and today showed up for a 2 p.m. meeting at 10 a.m. Fortunately it was in our office conference room so I didn’t have too walk far.
I do miss my daily walks with Duncan, though. Soon it will be too dark to even take them right after work. But perhaps we can squeeze one in today.
We went for a walk on Friday after work and it brought a whole lot of normalcy to the end of my week. Strange that “normal” for me is now spending time with my son. Not being in an office working all day.
It may look pretty much the same on the surface. But the currents underneath run in an entirely different direction.