Thanks to the vibrating bouncer and Kevin, I got in 2 naps today, which helped my outlook tremendously. As did talking with my mum.
Both she and the lactation consultant at the hospital had some suggestions to help tame the flow of my Niagara Falls breasts, a couple of which seem to be working. My mum’s suggestion of expressing some milk by hand (yes, effectively milking myself as if I was a cow) before feeding him has the double bonus of being able to store up some milk in the freezer for the times I’m eventually away from him and he gets a bottle from his daddy. I’m amazed at the amount of milk that comes out of these things that used to be regular old boobs. Pretty soon I’ll be good enough to aim them and start target practice.
After spending most of the afternoon awake, little D took a nap this afternoon/evening which let us eat our dinner with two hands each (and withouth having to cook thanks to Brenda for making us beef and pepper stir fry!) and then cuddle up on the pull-out couch and watch a movie – The Snow Walker. As much as I adore the little guy, it’s good to have a break from listening to his every sound and watching his every movement to see if he’s ready to wake up and eat again. (We had the monitor on, but he was very quiet – he was finally asleep.) I was thinking this afternoon how much I enjoyed the time Kevin and I spent together at the end of my pregnancy – we went for walks, went to Sonnenberg Gardens, just hung out and enjoyed each other – and how I feel the need to reconnect with him now in that way too. We all need our cuddles.
My mum’s advice that she gave as I cooked and ate my lunch after the magic vibrating bouncy seat lulled Duncan off to dreamland for a few hours was good stuff. Among other things, she said to hold onto and cherish the joys — which, as it turns out, can be just as overwhelming and still make me cry. But after a shower (where I even washed my hair!) and a nap after Kevin came home and took over baby care, it made more sense.
Duncan just had his third bath, which I successfully gave him myself. So now I think/hope he’s down for a bit, so I should do the same. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.
I know I have the tendency to expect a lot from myself and want everything to return to “normal” right away. Tomorrow Duncan will be 2 weeks old. Which seems ancient in some ways, yet is still really new. So I’m going to work on taking it easy on myself as far as expectations and not pushing myself too hard. That’s why we get maternity leave after all, to adjust to our new normal and give ourselves time to get there.