Another day – still pregnant

I didn’t do a whole lot today. I took three naps and two half-hour walks. (The naps were longer than the walks.) I’m working hard on being patient.

The evenings are harder, somehow, especially after Kevin goes to bed and it’s quiet. I usually go outside at some point update the neighbors on the latest, go for a walk, maybe water the garden if it’s been hot and sunny, then wonder what to do until I go to bed.

There’s a quietness that fills the house and a restlessness that fills me. Like I want something else, something more than what’s happening, but yet I don’t quite know what. Sometimes after my walk I get some contractions – but nothing consistent or increasing in frequency or intensity. Nothing that goes anywhere. But when you get one you wonder if you’re going to get another, then another, then another. If this is IT, the start of IT anyway. But it’s not.

Eventually I decided to go to bed, usually wondering if my water is going to break in the middle of the night. Lately I’ve pretty much stopped caring if it floods the bed. And then I wake up in the morning (after waking up 4 or 5 times in the night to pee and gulp glasses of water) and look down at my body and try and remember if I’m still pregnant. As soon as I try and sit up to get out of bed I know…yep, still got that belly. And another day begins.

edd 7/10
39 weeks 5 days